Nightclubs for Dummies

Hot babes.  Rich dudes.  Music.  Dancing.  Alcohol.   YAAASSSS!!!!  It’s club time bitchez!  There’s nothing I love more than the intoxicating (literally) energy of a nightclub.

But there are a lot of people that walk up in the club and have NO IDEA about anything!  I cannot count how many times I’ve been asked the SAME questions.  No, I’m not hating on you, I didn’t know anything about the clubs when I was freshly 21 either!  Or maybe you just aren’t about the club scene until you’re in your midlife…  To each their own!

So instead of asking a random nightclub employee these questions and getting a condescending response, I am going to save you all the trouble by creating you a non-judgemental Nightlife Guide for Dummies!  Now ya better go pop some champagne to celebrate! wink wink

So without further ado, drumroll please

The Nightlife Guide for Dummies 

Guest List

The guest list is basically a “list” that nightlife employees (specifically club promoters) can add you onto so that you get free/comped entry into a venue before a certain time (normally before 10:30pm-midnight, varying on the club).

Although you would think the guest list is just for girls, a lot of venues have a male guest list, too!  So don’t lose hope if you don’t have titties!

So let me help you: find yourself someone that works at the club and get on their guest list so that you can avoid paying cover at the door…  Almost every club employee has their own guest list!

Bottle Service/VIP Tables

Bottles service is ALL the rage these days. Like why even go if you aren’t going to a table…?  Don’t be a peasant!

So, what is bottle service?   Bottle service is when you get your own private VIP table to order bottles of liquor at and you have a cocktail waitress to make your drinks at your table for you all night.  Boujee af!


Security WILL give you a warning and proceed to kick you out.  Don’t be the effing scum of the earth.

Bottle service comes with table minimums.  A table minimum is the minimum amount you must spend at the table, whether this is on liquor, mixers, &/or food.   Typically, there is a tax and service charge/gratuity added  ON TOP OF the minimum.  A table minimum is NOT the cost of the table before ordering anything.

For example:  if you have a $1,000 table minimum, you must spend AT LEAST $1,000 on booze at your table.  With tax (let’s say 9%) and service charge (generally 20-23%), you will end up having to spend about $1,300.

ALWAYS TIP YOUR WAITRESS!!! This is the service industry and WE WORK FOR TIPS!

What’s a VIP Host?

A VIP host is basically what you would think – they are your host at the nightclub.  Aka your party concierge.

Bottle Rats

Hoes that just jump around from table to table drinking guys’ alcohol.  But hey, someone needs to do it wink wink.  Guys like pretty girls at their tables, and girls like free alcohol.  It’s the circle of life!

Dress Code

Dress code varies from nightclub to nightclub, but has gotten way laxer these days.  However, there are some for sure no-nos:

  • NO hats
  • NO athletic wear 
  • NO flip flops
  • NO running shoes
  • NO shorts on males

You’re going out on the town, you don’t have to go all out Vegas style, but at least try to look decently presentable…  Ain’t no honeys going to try to pick up on you if you ain’t looking sharp!

My Number 1 Rule:

If you’re too broke to go out, THEN DON’T GO OUT!!! Clubs are expensive.

Trying to book a VIP table or get on a guest list in San Diego?

Lucky for you, I’m your plug 😉  Contact me for serious inquiries!  Xx


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