whispers “Did Megan get a boob job?” Surprise bitches, in case you’re blind (which I think it’s safe to assume that you’re not considering you’re reading this post) or just really didn’t know, I got my boobs done. SURPRISE! Why did I do it? Because tits are lifeee, c’mon now people.
But on the real-real, I’ve had a lot of girls talk to me post-op about wanting to get their boobs done. My advice? DO IT! Best. Decision. Ever. And in case you’re having a little apprehension about the matter, let me help you make the right decision a.k.a. DO IT! If I was a fairy godmother and could bless every girl with new tits, I would. They’re that worth it.
Okay okay, enough with the hype. Getting your boobs done is a serious surgery and I’ve been bombarded with questions from girls about the matter (questions I wish I had been more informed about before I got mine done). So, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty on dem titties!
Question: What were you thinking the night before?
“Well, if I die during surgery, at least I’ll die with nice tits.” Seriously. Wasn’t nervous at all.
Question: What’s the recovery like? Did it hurt?
It honestly wasn’t bad at all! The first 3 days post-op I just stayed in bed all day and slept (and had people come by and bring me food hehe). All it really felt like was that I had a stack of books on my chest. Like no pain, just weight. The only bad thing, in the beginning, was that I couldn’t sit up in bed by myself – who knew that you used your chest muscles to sit up?! Oh, and I couldn’t open my own pill bottles myself… make sure someone keeps your pill bottles open for you! I ended up not taking any painkillers though, only high-dose ibuprofen combined with muscle relaxants (unfortunately, Vicodin and Oxy make me throw up, so no fun pill popping for me, merp). By day 4 I was out of the house and exploring, completely back to normal! BUT with my new titties! 😉
BUTTTT, heads up: you can’t work out or have sex for 2 weeks… need to keep your heart rate down so you don’t get a blood clot.
PSA: If something hurts, STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING IMMEDIATELY!!! Do NOT strain your chest muscles, you can completely eff up your entire boob job. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. If you’re going to be spending thousands of dollars, just relax and let your new boobs heal.
Question: How did you find your doctor?
Referral. I had 3 girls I knew who had gone to the same doctor, so I chose her of course! And I liked her work, obvi. Make sure you stalk your doctor’s before and after photos of other patients!
Plus, do lots of research. Make sure you’re going to a well-acclaimed doctor at a reputable clinic. If you’re going to be spending thousands of dollars, you need to invest in the best quality boob service! No one wants a botched boob job…
(n case you’re wondering, I went to Dr. Lori Saltz at La Jolla Cosmetic Surgery Center and I absolutely LOVED HER! Plus, her nurse Ruth is hilarious. They made the whole process easy and fun 🙂 10/10 would go back!
Question: What size did you get?
360cc moderate plus profile highly cohesive gel silicone implants (aka gummy bear implants – who doesn’t like candy?!). So I went from a 32B to a 32D #blessed. One of my biggest fears about getting breast implants was that they were going to pop – I didn’t want silicone leaking into my body!!! NIGHTMARE! Luckily though, the newest generation of silicone implants are designed so that if they somehow were to rupture (OMFG), they don’t really leak. YEP! You read that right. The silicone stays in place and won’t travel through your body like earlier generations, phew!
Oh, and I got my incision under my boob and it’s virtually undetectable! Sits right in the crease 🙂 Plus, it’s the least invasive incision.
Question: Why did you get them?
Um, why wouldn’t I get them??? I’ve wanted boobs since I was 10 and used to watch The Girls Next Door. BOOBS WERE MY DESTINY! Plus, now all my clothes fit better, too. BONUS!
Question: How much do they cost?
Breast augmentations normally range from about $5,000 – $9,500 depending on where you go – this includes the cost of anesthesia and all other hospital costs. I paid $7,200 – so the average cost. But get this, YOU CAN FINANCE YOUR BOOBS!!! I got my boobs fully financed through Care Credit, so I’m paying $300 a month for 2 years with NO INTEREST! It’s like a car payment, but even better because they’re your new tits 😉
Question: Any other pointers?
- Massage your boobs!!! The more you massage them, the softer they feel! YAY!
- You can’t lift wash your hair yourself for like a week, so just stick to dry shampoo for a few days and then go get your hair washed at a salon
- You can’t wear an underwire bra for 2 months post-op (not that you’ll ever need to, your boobs are perky now!!)